About Michele

My life is devoted to learning the nuances of love and intimacy, to awakening inside relationship and this human embodied experience, & to helping others do the same.

The way couples' help USUALLY GOES didn't work. it nearly cost me my marriage. I'm glad we found a better way.

Whatever you're going through in your marriage, good or bad, I've probably experienced some aspect of that myself. And I've DEFINITELY coached someone through it, no matter what it is.

From my personal experiences and 27 years of professional practice, I've learned what relationships actually need to thrive.

We do NOT just need:

  • A referee to babysit us so our emotional conversations don't go off the rails

  • A lecture on how we should communicate

  • Emotionally exhausting sessions with no practice assignments to turn those insights into new behavior

    What really works is authentic skill-building, rooted in clear awareness of what we want to change and what's actually possible.

    Relationships start with the expectations and patterns we both learned before we met.

    Over time, relationships develop as a stew of those patterns plus the experiences we have with one another, seasoned with the joys and pains of years of life lived together.

I believe we all deserve the kind of love that's built intentionally, skillfully, and rooted in our own mature values and capacities, not tethered to our families, our hometown's attitudes, or our adolescent friends or early lovers.

Sex, pleasure, and intimacy are taboo in our culture but they are powerful portals for us to access tremendous personal power and spiritual (not religious) connection. I am devoted to awakening in my own life, body, and relationship and to being a companion and guide to others who want to "wake up in bed" and create love wilder and deeper than they've seen around them.

THERE'S NO HAPPILY EVER AFTER. It's better! An ongoing PATH OF DISCOVERY

THIS PATH TAKES US DEEPER YEAR AFTER YEAR

I've found peace inside my oh-so-human marriage and have helped thousands of other couples and individuals to create not just "good enough to stay together" relationships, but a courageous, transparent, fully-embodied, frontier-stretching passion that grows richer through the years and leaves a legacy of love for others around us.

I draw upon...

My approach melds expertise and lived experience in each of these areas. Bringing together ALL these facets allows me to catalyze bone-deep change that LASTS in your relationship, your body, and your life.

RELATIONAL MINDFULNESS & ATTACHMENT REPAIR

Terrence Real's Relational Life Therapy model is the basis of my work with couples experiencing conflict and/or distance.

I also incorporate Internal Family Systems, Attachment theory, neuroscience, and Polyvagal theory

TAOIST & TANTRIC & TRAUMA-INFORMED SEXUALITY PRACTICES

I have studied Tantra since 1998 and taught the Couples Stroking Practice since 2011.

These, along with Taoist mind-body practices, help my clients improve not only their sexual stamina, lubrication, responsiveness, and pleasure, but their overall mental and physical health.

FAIR PLAY, MENTAL & EMOTIONAL LABOR, PLANNING FOR LOVE

I am a certified facilitator of Eve Rodsky's Fair Play methodology for making the invisible work of our lives concrete and visible. I'm a YNAB (You Need a Budget) coach for couples learning to create abundance on every level driven by their values & informed by financial clarity. My clients learn to value everyone's time and celebrate the humanity we all gain from full, mindful engagement in our shared life.

KRIYA YOGA, MEDITATION,
& BREATHWORK

I have studied Kriya Yoga, brought to the United States by Paramahansa Yogananda in the 1920s. He authored Autobiography of a Yogi and helped translate Sutra-based and Bhagavad Gita-based meditation and breathwork practices for non-monastic spiritual seekers.

Observing the mind is the foundation of reducing reactivity in our relationships. I teach my clients mindfulness practices that dovetail with any other religious or spiritual perspective.

12-STEP RECOVERY, SURRENDER, WILLINGNESS

Addiction and compulsion drive people to a level of desperation that paradoxically has the power to unlock huge growth. I experience the ongoing miracles of recovery in my own journey with food, alcohol, money, and betrayal trauma.

My skill at deploying the 12 steps allows even non-addict clients to benefit from this potent system for releasing resentment, embracing life on life's terms, and creating transformation beyond what we could have anticipated.

THE 12 ELEMENTS OF MASCULINE & FEMININE POWER:
INTEGRATING YIN & YANG

I have studied and practiced eastern and western models of cosmology and human potential for more than 30 years.

In 2004, I created a framework (with Sara Yao) that elegantly distinguishes the 12 ways human power manifests.

The Elements also detail the ways that underusing or over-using our power creates suffering and ineffectiveness.

They're a "language" that aids my clients in effortlessly upgrading how they work, relate, and care for themselves and others.

It is a daily joy to witness and contribute to

THE KINDS OF RESULTS MY CLIENTS CREATE

with support, evidence-based tools, and open-hearted practice. You can hear it from them:

DOS & DON'TS

My husband and I saw more than a dozen couples' counselors.

I've helped thousands of couples myself.

I can save you a lot of wasted time, money, & emotional exhaustion.

I MADE A QUICK guide to the top dos & don'ts
when you're looking for relationship help

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